thoughts unedited

As you tread through ur life u always get options…options on choosing your path. There are temptations and there are diversions. When we were in our adolsence and had the shadow of immaturity over our head, these temptations and diversions can be associated with the habits and addictions that may set in. Once a person is done through this stage, the real complexity of life comes in. In the adolsent age , the  demarkation between good and bad is clear. It all depends upon the person’s level of control and his choice in life. But as the age progresses the choices we make are merely the inclinations we take when we are given a choice between our intent and the alternative.

It is during such a phase that a person gets completely drained. All his mental prowess is spent out figuring out a way to  lead himself in the correct direction when he has 2 ways before him. I am completely drained at the moment. Life has always been kind to me, It has always come to my aid when I was sad. But this time, itseems I will have to bear the brunt of its fury. I clearly donno what to do. My passion, my madness….commands me to wait and take things in my stride and keep hoping for the intent of people to change and understand me someday. But on the other hand my arrogance , my attitude, my self respect and dignity  want me to refrain from all this and live the way i have lived my life…always.

This desicion is very taxing to say the least. I can neither concentrate, nor retaliate. I just want a solution to all this…a solution that is gonna make my present and future happy….and i want it real quick..

And ya….last but not the least….i found a comment for my last post…sorry dude…i donno whoever u r…but ur words were surely very encouraging…thanks a lot for that..and I am dying to know whoever u r… 

The past few months have been pretty ‘eventful’ to say the least. Lots of things that never happened before…lots of things i never expected….lots of things i never hoped would happen happened….. I always get nostalgic when i think of my friends(I guess everyone does!!), but one friend who has always been more than just a friend is sam….Life has been taking us both on a roller coaster ride..together….I cant stop but recollect the rides that we had in wisconsin…all those scary rides we went in together. I never had the fear….cause i knew he didnt either.

But there is always this funny way of life….it makes the ever calm people to seethe in anger…the ever jovial person float in tears…and the ever brave person cringe in fear…..in short life takes everyone on a ride and shows him his own other side. I feel the same has been happenening to us of late. we have been facing things that we have never ever thought of. And it is the first time in my life i am not wishing for his company…the reason…a feeling which says…my life is getting screwed…why should his aswell??

According to me the most sensible and sane person in our gang is sam. I am the most arrogant…brash…care a damn…fight at will…..kind of a person….In short he is the good boy of the gang and i am the bad boy of the gang…..Yet we r the best of friends.. the reason..we compliment each other perfectly. However varied we might have been…the most common thing in both of us is the fact that we have never wished for anyone’s failure…we never hoped somebody would loose…we never prayed for somebody’s destruction. But after all the things we r going through…I believe somebody else is surely hoping those for us…

The question that constantly comes up…why us????